Mel Smith's Greatest Hits

Words and Music by Beham-Guinness


I wanna dance (I wanna dance)
You can tell at a glance (I wanna dance)
But I don't wanna do the mambo
And I don't wanna do the tango
I wanna jump up and down to my favourite sound
Which is black and round and it costs five pounds

Julie Andrews Greatest Hits
All the up-to-datest bits
They're my family favourites
Julie Andrews Greatest Hits

(Julie Andrews Greatest Hits)
John Peel gives me screaming fits
Find a station that transmits
Julie Andrews Greatest Hits
Julie Andrews Greatest Hits

I wanna dance (I wanna dance)
But I don't get a chance (I wanna dance)
But I don't wanna do the rumba
And all that kind of number
I want the whisperings of the shimmering strings
As the lady sings all my favourite things

Julie Andrews Greatest Hits
All my stereo emits
I can't wait to get my mitts
on Julie Andrews Greatest Hits

(Julie Andrews Greatest Hits)
All the really straightest bits
What's the thing to dance to? It's
Julie Andrews Greatest Hits

OK, fine, we're all having a jolly good time I really don't want to break things up, OK

Julie drives me frantic
Cos I'm a bit of an old romantic
And she sounds so nice and she's so precise
I'm in paradise with me Edelweiss

(Julie Andrews Greatest Hits)
Really tears my brain to bits
Loudly as the law permits
Julie Andrews Greatest Hits

(Julie Andrews Greatest Hits)
Even the sedatest bits
Rock and roll gets on my (OK, point taken)
Julie Andrews Greatest Hits
Julie Andrews Greatest Hits

OK, well enough's enough and a joke's a joke and we've all have a jolly good laugh. And let's be honest it's easy to laugh isn't it. But you know while we're laughing, and lets be honest why shouldn't we be laughing, I mean nobody enjoys a good laugh more than I do. No no, with all due respect and bearing in mind that we're all entitled to our opinion let's be honest, Julie Andrews what a marvelous professional. Ha ha ha ha, oh dear oh dear oh dear.